less comfortable mystery

"People must have the courage to leave the comfortable misery that they know for a less comfortable mystery which they don't know, but which in the end might prove far more satisfying to them. The things which scare us most are the things we should go right for because there's much more security on the other side of that than there ever is in clinging to what we always thought was safe." ~ Stewart Stern

So it's time to be honest about my fear. It is difficult to show weakness but there is something to be said for strength through vulnerability. I'm overwhelmingly excited and optimistic about my upcoming trip but I feel it necessary to clear the air and admit to everyone (including myself) that I am also afraid at times. I've been reluctant to post this or share this much with those around me. I don't want others to be overly concerned about me (especially my mom of course). I know how proud and excited everyone is for me and I don't want to let you all down. However, I would be lying if I said I wasn't afraid. But I truly believe that many of the greatest things we can do are also some of the most frightening. There will be many challenges ahead and while I know deep down I have the strength to meet those challenges I can't help but feel a little uncertain at times. It is natural to be afraid (and perhaps even a bit wise in some situations) but the trick is to live in a way that I am not at the mercy of my anxiety.

I'm feeling incredibly grateful and supported by my community and accepting the fact that no one (not even me) should or could do it alone. I'm sad and a bit anxious about leaving this support behind but I'm also opening to the idea that I will now have the chance to be part of a new community. And remembering that even that which is familiar was as first quite strange. I've also been thinking about how important it is to do the things you love in order to stay grounded and feel a little less "at the mercy" of whatever is going on.