the art of good-bye

I enjoyed a blissful but busy holiday week. It was actually filled with highs and lows. A preview of coming attractions I think. I traveled to Orosi, the town where it all began, for our end of service meetings. Similar to last year except this time, I'm actually leaving. We had an amazingly delicious Thanksgiving dinner. But honestly considering what most of us have been eating this year it doesn't take much to make us rave. I'll admit I spent a good portion of the meal with my eyes closed savoring the flavors. Something I really love about my time here is that it has given me a deeper and more genuine appreciation for the simplest things. Hot showers, good food, talking with loved ones. Speaking of which I was delighted to talk to a bunch of my family on Thanksgiving and hear how much they miss me. Really helps to be reminded that I'm missed and loved at home and that people are excited to have me back. I'm grateful for my family at home but also for all the ways my community and my family has grown these past two years. I feel blessed to be a part of something, to be connected with such amazing people and to even have this opportunity in the first place.

On Friday we celebrated in San Jose with a final party at the hostel. It was a blast but also mixed with some sadness that our amazing adventure is coming to an end. Time for bigger and better adventures! Now I'm home and pretty exhausted physically and emotionally. I didn't really cry much this weekend or on the bus ride home (bus rides tend to make me sad). And not to say I don't love the other volunteers or that I won't miss them. They have helped me keep my sanity at times and each of them is so strong and inspiring in their own way. But as soon as I stepped off that bus, breathed in that fresh mountain air and started to walk down the road into town I fell apart. Because I was home and all I could think about was having to leave. Because this place, this community is a part of me now. The person I've become and the person I left behind all happened here.

"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place...like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time, and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again."- Azar Nafisi

My favorite part about traveling in Costa Rica: coming home. Stepping off that bus and feeling that sigh of relief ripple through me, feeling myself fully arrived. So the question comes again, how do I leave? How does anyone leave something, some place or someone they love and care about? Can someone please teach me the art of saying good-bye because right now I feel lost...